But the more I studied her beautiful hands and her long torso and her beautiful toes, the more hooked I was getting! Aside from all of the medical equipment, Isabela was truly the most beautiful little thing that I had ever laid eyes on!  

January 14th, 2008 marks a very important day for me. That is the day I became the mother to a little fighter, warrior, or maybe better said as…..a true Survivor.   

Isabela was born at 1:01 am. I was only able to catch a glimpse of her as they rushed her to the other side of the room for cleaning, etc. I was filled with so many emotions as I waited for them to bring her to me to hold for the very first time. I kept asking Luis what they were doing, and how she looked, and when they were going to bring her to me. At one point, I saw his smile erase completely from his face. He didn’t tell me at the time, but Isabela was completely blue and had stopped breathing altogether. The medical team quickly rushed her out of the room. I begged Luis to tell me when I was going to get to hold her, but he just kept repeating over and over again with a bewildered, scared look on his face, “I don’t know”.  

About 2 hours later, while still in the recovery room from the c-section, a doctor walked in and told Luis, his parents, my mother, and I the worst news we could have ever imagined at that moment. He told us that Isabela was diagnosed with right-sided CDH (Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia). In short, he explained that this is a condition where the baby’s diaphragm does not form properly, causing the intestines to travel up to the chest cavity, and ultimately inhibiting the development of the lung(s). The doctor said that in her case, it wasn’t looking very good, and that it was extremely possible that she would die. We all stood there silent, in a very big state of shock and disbelief.  

The rest of the day was a blur to me. Doctors of all kinds kept coming into my room letting me know that my baby was probably not going to make it. They came in one after the other, with the same news, over and over again. It kept killing me inside to look at where her diaper bag sat and to think that I was probably not going to be able to use it.  

Luis went to see her a few times with some family members. They would all come back with sad eyes looking at me with worry, I guess wondering how much longer it would take before I would break down into nothingness. When 3:30 p.m. came, it was finally time for me to see her. Luis kept trying to prepare me, letting me know that I wasn’t really going to be able to see her so clearly, as she had cables all around and a ventilator covering her face.   

I did not know how I was going to feel at first sight of her. I must have held my breath all the way down to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, because I remember feeling so light headed. I know this may sound out of this world, but the first time that I laid eyes on her, I actually felt so much better about the situation. My broken spirit just transformed itself and the more I looked at her, the more my heart felt at ease. I wasn’t sure if this was a feeling of denial, so I was still so afraid to allow myself to love her. At the time, the medical staff had made me feel as if God wasn’t going to allow me to keep her. But the more I studied her beautiful hands and her long torso and her beautiful toes, the more hooked I was getting! Aside from all of the medical equipment, Isabela was truly the most beautiful little thing that I had ever laid eyes on!