But the more I studied her beautiful hands and her long torso and her beautiful toes, the more hooked I was getting! Aside from all of the medical equipment, Isabela was truly the most beautiful little thing that I had ever laid eyes on!  

It has taken me almost a year and a half to finally find the strength to write Logan’s story. My husband and I were ecstatic to find out we were pregnant with our second child. My first pregnancy was completely normal and uneventful. We assumed the second pregnancy would be just as easy. Our first child was a year and a half, and she was a picture of health. We went for our routine ultrasound at 19 weeks.

The tech was very quite during the test, but did not seem to be concerned. We found out we were having a boy, and were very excited to have one of each. Within a half hour, our doctor called. We were not home; therefore, missed the call. The next day he called us. We were prepared for bad news since he had called so quickly the day of the ultrasound. He told us that our son had a rare condition called diaphragmatic hernia. He referred us to Magee Women’s Hospital for further testing and genetic counseling.

On June 21st our fears were confirmed. Logan had a 50/50 chance of survival since his stomach; all of his bowel, and part of his liver were in his chest. We decided we were going to give him every shot possible. After months of tests and consultations, Logan was born on October 26, 2007. (2 weeks early.) The NICU staff at Magee immediately resuscitated him. I remember the neonatologist gave me a “thumbs up” shortly after his birth. They quickly took him to the NICU to stabilize him before transferring him to Children’s Hospital. I had to stay at Magee, but my husband went with Logan. During the night, Logan had to be put on an oscillating machine, because he was not receiving enough oxygen on the ventilator.

Logan’s first few days were great. He was doing well, and the doctors were optimistic about his prognosis. His surgery was scheduled three days after his birth. That Monday his levels did not look as good as they had been. Surgery canceled. Each day things slowly started to get worse. Surgery was postponed Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Finally, on Friday, Nov. 2, the doctors decided it was a now or never case. They felt Logan was as stable as he would be for the surgery. I kissed Logan on the head and went to the waiting room to start the wait.

After several hours, the head surgeon came out and explained that the actual surgery was a success; however, Logan was not rebounding as expected. His left lung was the size of a grape, and his oxygen levels were extremely low. We were asked to sign permission for him to be placed on ECMO. Deep down I knew we were losing our son. My husband kept telling me to not give up on him. I guess it was a mother’s instinct. The next thing I heard was the intercom paging a social worker to the NICU stat. I knew it was for us. She arrived and took us to a separate room where the surgeons came to meet us.

As Logan was being placed on ECMO he began to hemorrhage out of his right lung. They were unable to save him. We held our precious angel for the first time (tube free) shortly after his passing. He was perfect on the outside. I relive that day every day. I pray to God that he is happy and healthy in heaven. A year and one month after Logan passed, we welcomed a healthy baby girl. Our girls will have a guardian angel watching them always. I know Logan would have had so many problems. He is now pain free in heaven.